Language Development and Communication in Young Children
by Lorna Whiston (Managing Director LWPS)

Real communication is a two- way exchange of thoughts and ideas. It is about listening as it is about speaking. It is as much about how we express ourselves as what we say.
The way we communicate with our children helps determine the kind of relationship we have with them. By asking as well as telling, by eliciting ideas rather than imposing them and by respecting our children's feelings and points of view as well as instilling in them good values and beliefs, we are helping them to understand and acquire good communication skills.

Parents are a child's most important role model. Every word and action a parent uses conveys a message to the child.
The quality of communication between parent and child is vital. It is a tremendous responsibility, and how we behave towards our children when they are young is reflected in how they will respond and behave when they are older.

Why are we sometimes so negative towards our children? One reason is that their values are different from our own. Their developmental level will affect the way they behave so that what can drive us mad can be entertaining for them. Little children like to do the same thing over and over again, as they learn, and experience new situations. A six month child will constantly throw everything out of his cot. Your toddler won't like to be interrupted. He doesn't share. He needs constant attention. He doesn't understand that you have had a hard day at the office. The "terrible two's" can be trying, but it is a positive stage of development because it represents a child's first experiments with independence.

Another reason for negativity is that we unconsciously copy the language style and behaviour of our parents and grandparents. We remember from when we were young, and even if we don't approve, we copy their style, because it is ingrained in us. So if our parents were strict, we may be strict with our children. But times, circumstances and ideas change. What was fine for them in their time may not be appropriate now, in our time. We live in a different society. If we wish to communicate positively with our children and get positive results, then we need to communicate in a positive way.

That doesn't mean that we have to give way to our young child all the time, but we can look at things from his point of view and see how we can negotiate a better response. Doesn't this sound familiar? Don't we sometimes do this with our husband or boss? What we are doing is listening to them and negotiating to obtain a more positive result.

The reason that I make comparison with adults is that we often think of our children differently. Because we are responsible for them, we think of them as belonging to us - as our possessions - and it may help us to realise that children are just little people. To encourage responsible independence, we need to guide them but also to give them a lot of respect and as much time and attention as we possibly can.

What about communicating in two languages?

Introducing a second language to small children is not so different from introducing the first language. Forget the grammar and what you learnt at school as children, and think of extending a child's experience through activities that he loves and which are at the appropriate level for his development. There are a few rules to follow.

  • Keep the two languages separate. Don't use them both together, as we adults sometimes do. "Apa macham, this boy is so sombong!" If your mother tongue is Malay speak to your child sometimes in Malay and sometimes in English and tell him which you are using.
  • Start the second language with simple songs, rhymes and stories. English language teachers often sing instructions to toddlers, so that they recognise the tune as well as the words. She might sing "Come and sit down," always in the same tune and children will soon recognise the signal. Tell your child - "This book is a Malay book" or "This story book is in English". Show the pictures, tell the story simply, and let him decide when he has had enough.

Get somebody in your family, perhaps an aunt or a friend, always to speak in English. The idea is for your child to understand that there are different ways to communicate. English is simply way.

At first, keep the second language sessions short. Use simple language, not long strings of words. "We are going to sing an English song. Let's sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."

Don't expect a young child to respond in English initially. At first he may not respond at all. Just as when he first began to speak, he will start by listening and internalising the language and when he does answer he may answer in his mother tongue. That is fine. After all, when he begins to respond, he is showing that he is understanding. Actually speaking the words in English will come later. English teachers often find that very soon the child will be talking to them in English and to their mother in the language used at home. This can happen even at two or three years of age.

Don't forget that whichever language you use, it should be a positive experience, introduced through enjoyable activities which are appropriate for your child's age level. Use some of the following activities as "English language experience".

  • Playing simple musical instruments such as a drum or bells.
  • Playing with a ball.
  • Dressing and undressing. Playing dress-up.
  • Finger painting and messy play.
  • Playing with toy animals.
  • Sand and water play.
  • Pretending to cook and prepare food.
  • Songs and rhymes.
  • Listening to a story with books and pictures.
  • Stringing large beads and talking about what you are doing.

Positive communication is vital for your child's well being. It builds attitudes of mutual respect that can last a lifetime, both within the family and, as he grows older, in the outside world. Confident, explicit and multilingual communication can give your growing child a tremendous advantage through his school years and beyond.



I'm Getting Ready for Primary 1


Most parents are anxious to give their children a headstart and help them prepare for primary school, but how do you go about preparing your child for Primary 1 without causing him, or indeed yourself, too much stress, and without expecting too much too soon? By the time your child is going into Primary 1, there are certain developmental milestones that he should ideally have reached. These milestones can be broadly categorized into four main areas:

  • Intellectual readiness
  • Physical readiness
  • Emotional readiness
  • Social readiness

Intellectual readiness

Intellectual readiness concerns a child's level of mental development. As with all areas of readiness, there is a broad range of what might be considered 'normal' in terms of intellectual readiness at P1 level. For instance, some children will be able to read quite fluently by the time they enter Primary 1, whilst others may not be reading at all. By the time your child enters P1, he will be expected to be intellectually ready to cope with the demands of the Primary 1 syllabus. Therefore finding out about the school syllabus well ahead of time, and gradually exposing your child to activities that will develop the skills necessary for this level of intellectual development, will help your child prepare for this step up from kindergarten into primary school. Moreover choosing a pre-school, childcare centre or kindergarten with a good reputation for providing a well-rounded, well-structured and well-taught pre-school programme is essential in offering your child the best preparation there is for starting primary school.

At home, you can help prepare your child intellectually for Primary 1 by sharing and discussing a range of different books and stories, by drawing, painting and doing art and craft activities, and by encouraging him to explore the world around him. Activities such as making his own simple books, baking a cake or planting some seeds help children understand important concepts that they will later need to focus on in a more academic way at primary school. In addition, making sure that children understand the value of different coins and giving them the opportunity to practise buying things at the supermarket will give them greater confidence about ordering food at the school canteen.

Physical readiness

Physical readiness is another important area to consider when preparing your child for Primary 1. Children develop physically at different rates, but all children need to be physically fit and healthy in order to enjoy and do well at school. Some children are naturally stronger and more co-ordinated than others, but all children enjoy physical activity. Encouraging your child to play on his bicycle rather than sitting inside watching T.V., going for a walk together, running, dancing, climbing or playing ball games - all of these activities will help develop your child's gross motor skills and will help make him more self-confident and self-aware.

Physical readiness also means ensuring that your child has the fine motor skills necessary to carry out all the tasks he will do in class in Primary 1. To develop fine motor skills, encouraging your child to jigsaw puzzles, draw, paint, model play dough, and cut and stick: are of these are good ways to develop manual dexterity and help give children the fine motor skills necessary in primary school. In addition, making sure your child knows how to feed himself and use the bathroom correctly will help ensure he has the confidence to deal with the transition into Primary 1.

Emotional readiness

Emotional readiness is a hugely important area to consider with young children going into primary 1. Children feel all the emotions that adults do, but being emotionally ready for primary 1 means they have to learn ways to handle their feelings and emotions. For instance, if a child gets angry, he has to understand that it is not permissible to respond with violence. When starting a new school, many children become anxious and fearful of what awaits them. This can result in them displaying unusual behaviour such as temper tantrums, or a lack of confidence in areas they normally seem confident with. As soon as you know which school your child will be attending, it is a good idea to plan a few visits to the school and to start talking to your child about all the great things he will be doing there. Make it sound like a fun and exciting place. Try to go along to the school when it is holding an event such as a school play or an end of year concert, where your child can experience some of the fun without any of the pressure.

Children going into primary one often experience separation anxiety and fearfulness about their new school environment. It is a good idea to help your child memorize your phone number so that he knows he can get hold of you should the need arise. In addition, showing your child how to use a phone card, and making sure he knows who to turn to should he need help at school, will help increase his confidence and feelings of security.

In addition, make sure your child is familiar with the school's rules to avoid any unnecessary or embarrassing situations, and have your child help you label all of his books and belongings so that he can easily identify them and can start developing feelings of responsibility and independence. Allowing your child to choose a new pencil case, stationery and school bag may also help increase his excitement about the prospect of starting primary school.

Social readiness

School can be very difficult experience for children who are not socially mature. Turn-taking, sharing, following rules, respecting other people's property and being polite and well-behaved are just some of the social skills your child will need to have in order to get along well in the primary school environment. It is a good idea to start introducing these social skills early on in life, so that your child will find the transition to primary school a lot easier.

Your child will also be in a position of having to make new friends when he goes to primary school. Helping your child to mix socially with other children of his own age, and discussing how others feel in response to certain situations, will help develop a sense of empathy and will nurture a child's self-confidence about forging new relationships in primary school.



I'm Glad I'm Me! - Creating Confident Children
by Anna Blackett (Headteacher at LWSC)

One of the biggest challenges parents face is that of developing a healthy sense of self-esteem in their children. Self-esteem is a feeling of self worth or ‘good feeling’ about oneself. Children often judge this by how they are accepted and praised by peers and adults who are important to them. Positive self- esteem enables children to face challenges, work co-operatively and attain goals. Children who have a negative sense of self worth tend to focus on failure or problems and tend to avoid challenges.

One of the most effective ways to foster positive self-esteem is to help a child develop an “I can” mentality. Parents can do this in a number of ways:

  • Encourage children to be independent
  • Provide activities where children can achieve success
  • Provide opportunities that are challenging but not too difficult
  • Provide opportunities for children to practise skills that they enjoy or are good at
  • Offer children the chance to express their ideas and feelings
  • Offer children strategies for working co-operatively with others
  • Offer real challenges where the child really feels they have achieved something
  • Praise effort as well as attainment

Children need to feel that they are respected in order to feel positive about themselves. Parents can do this by allowing children to make certain decisions, but also by explaining the reasons behind adult decisions or rules. Also children should be included in conversations and have their views taken seriously. Reading and sharing books, discussing their school day and school work in a positive manner, asking about their peers and inquiring about how they are feeling are all key ways that a parent can reinforce their child’s sense of self worth.

During times of failure, such as a low mark for a test, a child’s feeling of self worth will be weakened. Parents can help to build self-esteem by reassuring the child that their support is still there. Parents should help their child to cope with failure rather than only emphasising their successes. Children need to be aware that life has both showers and sunshine so that they can cope with crises.

A parent making a positive statement in the morning can make the difference between a great day and a bad day for a child. However do beware of excessive flattery, as children will become dismissive of this. Praise children by heightening their sense of inner satisfaction and thus their internal sense of self-competence rather than just being an external source of esteem.
For example; be specific with praise by saying ‘Well done for writing all your letters so beautifully’ or ‘You knew so many of the words in that book’ rather than the more meaningless, ‘Good job’. Similarly negative statements such as, ‘Your work is so untidy’ or ‘You got such low marks’ are of no value and will simply decrease self-esteem. Critical comments should show an understanding of a child’s effort and should offer constructive ideas for future success.

For example; ‘You have come up with some imaginative ideas, perhaps you could try a different pen so that you can write a little neater’ or ‘I think you tried really hard with that test. Maybe if you read a little more you could do even better next time’. These statements show children that you are aware of the effort they have made and that you believe in them.

Parents play a crucial role in laying a solid foundation for a child’s sense of self worth. It is important to think about the impact that your words can have on an impressionable child. Having positive self-esteem can mean the difference between success and failure in school and in the outside world. Acknowledge and focus on what your children can do rather than what they can’t do and make them feel good about themselves.



Pre-school education - the facts
by Neil Andrew, BSc, PGCE

In the field of child development, most research indicates that children’s physical and emotional abilities, as well as the development of their mathematics, logic, language and music skills are powerfully affected by early childhood experiences. It is a widely held belief that the earlier children experience good care, the longer these developmental gains are likely to last.

At birth, the only fully developed areas of a baby’s brain are those governing the essential life processes of breathing, heart-beat, circulation and digestion. The centres controlling emotional growth, language, thinking and the capacity for problem solving develop constantly from birth until early adulthood.

The conclusion of the vast majority of developmental researchers is that there are specific ‘critical periods’ (also known as ‘windows of opportunity’) in the child’s brain development when areas of the brain are primed to receive specific kinds of information relating to particular areas of learning and other skills. In some cases, if these “windows of opportunity” are missed, it has been shown that the developmental stages concerned may not occur. Although the brain continues to mature and develop well into early adulthood, most of these critical periods occur before the age of six. To cite an example, the critical period for language development occurs in the first five years of life. At birth, babies are equipped to speak any language; however, each particular language uses certain unique sounds, and thus within the first year, babies are thought to become “functionally deaf” to a sound that does not occur in the language(s) to which they are first exposed. In the Singapore context, where nearly all children are raised in a bilingual environment, it is therefore all the more critical that this early ‘window of opportunity’ relating to language development is fully exploited.

The area of the brain governing vocabulary development (a prerequisite for learning to speak, read, write, learn and reason effectively) develops optimally during the first three years of life, as long as the child receives sufficient emotional, cognitive and language stimulation during this period. One recent developmental study concluded that babies with parents who talked to them for three hours per day or more had internalised, on average, 150 more words by the age of 20 months than peers with less talkative parents; by the age of 24 months, this initial gap had widened to around 300 words. During the preschool years, most research suggests that children continue to add to their internal vocabulary at a rate of roughly one word every 2 hours!

In conclusion, a child’s developmental outcomes are not wholly predetermined by their genetic makeup. The way in which a child is nurtured, together with their experiences during the first three to five years of life clearly play a very significant role in the development of their functional, learning and social competencies. This is why the importance of quality child care and parenting cannot be understated.

Worldwide developmental research has consistently shown that high quality preschool programmes can improve children’s long-term academic performance in school and even reduce later tendencies towards anti-social behaviour, delinquency and crime. By helping them to understand and use language, control aggression, play and work with other children, accept adult direction, focus attention and work independently at an early stage of development, effective childcare can drastically improve children’s chances of global success in school.

Following wide-ranging studies into the reasons why some preschool programmes are far more beneficial to children than others, a number of key strategies, or success factors, have been identified. These include: a high level of parental education and involvement, a clearly defined focus on language development activities, small class sizes and/or student-teacher ratios, programme continuity and investment in professional training.

A child’s early life experiences are some of the most important in terms of rounded development, providing the foundation for virtually all later learning. When learning skills, strategies and attitudes are optimally developed during the early childhood years, later learning has been shown to come more naturally to children.

We, as parents, need to remember that while the quality of the preschool we choose for our children plays a crucial role in influencing their development, it is just one of several environments being regularly experienced, most obviously that of the home. A child’s experiences within the family sphere certainly exert a significant influence on their development, but most family settings cannot provide them with the wide range of stimuli encountered in the company of other children in a well-rounded, high quality preschool environment.